As a blossoming entrepreneur myself, I’ve come to realise some basic obstacles that surprise and confuse our kind in cycles. These obstacles tend to dress themselves up in a disguise which is as sneaky as we can expect: plain sight. Maybe you know what I’m talking about, maybe not. For those who know exactly what I’m talking about, here’s the three top obstacles I see and the three best ways to shift and overcome them.
Before I dive into the blessed Three-n-Three, I just want to briefly address the source of our obstacles because it is usually easy to blame the obstacles themselves rather than looking at the possibility that perhaps, just perhaps, there are some deeper things going on below the surface we get to take responsibility for perpetuating. These ‘things’ I will call our individual beliefs about our daily reality. Whatever yours or mine may be, rest assured they are the driving force of every decision we make in our lives until we reach a state of awareness of said belief where we can then choose to adjust it as desired. When we start to question our beliefs about everything is when the fight begins. The obstacles come up and we start scratching at the walls of the house like we’re a kid that just realized there’s a great outdoors and a whole life beyond the walls. The key is finding the door to go through to the outside and experience a fuller more rounded experience of life than we could have imagined before. The house was helpful… it kept us safe from traffic and dangers out there. But we’re adults now, ready to learn to drive, go places, see things, create our lives the way we want. Staying in the house by choice even if we’re capable of thriving on the outside is called survival. The survival instinct has served us. It has kept us safe from harm, and been the best friend we could count on most. Till now. So, the source of the obstacles: the feeling you get as you reach for the door causing you to hesitate… it’s this dualistic paradox which is … if I stay where I am I know what’s going on and can handle it just great. If I turn the handle and go outside I have no clue what to do it or how, and will be starting all over again. That sounds scary, but could be fun. It’s getting boring here. So, what do we want to do? Stay and be bored, stagnant, “safe”, etc.? These words may not describe you, but they certainly described me and sometimes still do when I’m beginning to level up in life or business. What feeling do you feel? Are you hesitant? Depressed? Scared? Or bursting with excitement to see what’s on the other side of the door? When any obstacle comes up for us, it is fear based. What if I fail? Am I good enough? Hesitation, the paralysis by analysis, the self-doubt, etc. What can we do today to trick this false sense of security behind the door? What can we do now to bust through these obstacles and start seeing the results you’ve dreamed of?
The Top Three Most Obnoxious Obstacles Disguised In Plain Site
Identify, And Pin That Sucker Down.
- Fear of Failure: This one seems obvious, but there are more subtle ways this one can bite your butt before you know what’s happening. Which is usually the case. Fear of Failure often will show up in the form of over justification of the present state being just what you want. Say, you’re in a job that pays pretty well, you’ve got a house, a car perhaps, both half-paid for, and a family you love. But there’s this restlessness that’s creeping up on you, and you find yourself staring off into the distance at work. You’re bored, but you won’t admit it. You always wanted to do or be xyz but this job was what you were educated for, so it makes “sense” to continue the way you’ve been going because so far it’s worked. Some clues to look for if you’re afraid of failing are “what if I did this differently, what would life be like if… xyz” So, what if? Let yourself follow this train of thought. If this, then what? If not you, then who? Fear of failure clues: discontentment, justification of current situation, depression, anger about things that don’t merit your anger, feeling out of control in your life, blaming other circumstances or people for stagnation, being afraid to be vulnerable and share what you’re thinking, etc.
- Procrastination: Ok, say you already know what you want different. You know you want to build a skyscraper or make triple the gross profits you’re making in your business now, or you want to start a business you’ve dreamed of since childhood, etc. You know what it is you want. Now what? Every day you wake up, you think about taking some action, and then this little voice in your brains starts a goin…. going and going. ‘I should wait until I’ve learned more about the business side of things. I can do it tomorrow easier because I can meet my business partner or friend who will have some advice. I have to take care of this thing or that thing first. I have to work on my website more. I need to make this phone call first.’ It could be anything for each of us. Maybe for you, it’s not even a voice. Maybe you don’t even know that your old self wants to stay comfortable so the little distractions feel so natural and needed and wanted you don’t even know you’ve procrastinated until you realize in a moment you didn’t do what you said you wanted. Your head spins. This happens too. Sometimes it even gets uglier… after procrastination then the guilt cycle… then the ‘why bother’ attitude. What if all of that is just an illusion? Your survival mode feels so good that your old self doesn’t want to change. Your new self that’s trying to wake up and wholly align with you wants more and dreams big… and what now? How do you get off this un-merry-go-round?
- Paralysis by Analysis: This one… bugger. I’ll just admit right now, this one has been a huge obstacle for me. It is very sneaky. Logic and Analysis are important. Don’t get me wrong. BUT when they start ganging up on your deepest desires and beating them down theres a clue something deeper is at play. That deeper thing, the source of obstacles, remember? Fear. Fear triggers our need to survive and often times will turn up in analysis as if the consumption and utilization of information is the only way to make an accurate and correct decision. Like I said, these things are important, to an extent. It’s good to know what you’re getting into and have a plan to kick some ass. BUT when your knowledge, analysis of it, and logic are controlled by the need to survive versus the surrender to thrive then they start taking you down rabbit trails in all directions causing so much confusion and eating time like its going out of fashion. Days turn into weeks, and weeks, into months, and months into years. Before you know it you wake up one day, feeling cranky and dissatisfied, but you are armed with a list as long as your arm why you shouldn’t, couldn’t, and didn’t do what you said you wanted. So, where does that leave you? You get to decide actually.
These three obstacles sometimes like to take turns dressing up like each other. Be aware. You get to decide whose been running your life.
Hope. Where is the hope. Hold on, now, if you’re asking for hope guaranteed it’s on the way. There is much power in an intentional, heart-connected question. And let me just say: you hold the key to unlock the door and step through to embrace hope. I can let know you a few techniques to help yourself out, but you are the master of your ship. Only when you decide you can and will change is when you will see results. It’s called personal responsibility. At first it may seem unpalatable… you may feel sick, or angry, or depressed. This is just the old you fighting to stay in the warm and cozy pattern of life you’ve been in for so long. That’s why we’ve got to channel this energy. Be the boss of it, reach for support, believe it is possible to create all you want, and take action.
Top Three Most Powerful Moves To Overcome The Obstacles
Your Heart Remembers What You Need To Know, Take Opposite Action
- Overcoming FOF (fear of failure): Firstly, know this is no ‘take the blue pill’ cure. It takes determination, courage, will power, humility, honesty, practice, and surrender. To name a few. You’ll probably discover for yourself what qualities you, individually, require for change. Be free to ask what these are for you. Those are some of my personal favorites. To begin, take time to get honest with yourself. Begin asking questions like “What are the benefits to changing my life? What are the costs? What action can I take now to change my pattern and begin seeing the results I want? Where do I see myself in 5 years if I don’t change? Where do I see myself in 5 years if I do change? What is causing me to desire change? Are the changes I desire worth the efforts required? When I create the life or business I want, how will I feel about myself and others? Do I like that? What is the big heart-reason for wanting change? How will this benefit myself and others? Take some action with these questions. Action can look many ways such as journaling, or recorded voice memos. Read what you wrote or listen to yourself asking these questions. Take action today.
- Overcoming Procrastination: Be aware. This one is really sneaky. When you notice yourself slipping off the band wagon, heres a few things you can try. Change your pattern. Sometimes, we get into a routine and this triggers a whole set of routines in our minds too that may or may NOT be beneficial anymore. So, do something different. Drive a different way home. Go to a different grocery store. Call a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. Get up an hour earlier. Next, watch your words. “I have to do this first… I need to stay in bed because I was up later…” Excuses. Going victim to external circumstances that if you notice may just be a normal routine.. like that friend who calls to vent taking the hour you were going to use making that important business call. Or maybe you’re the one venting? Nothing wrong with asking for some honest feedback from a trusted accountability partner, but when the object of the call is to enlist sympathy and gang up on the no good circumstances that’s cramping your style?? Who’s really cramping your style? You or the circumstance? Notice the normal justifications for doing the normal and usual thing. Don’t just take a normal away from yourself, replace with a beneficial option. For instance, start with something small like eating a bag of carrots instead of a bag of potato chips if health is your goal. Or make that phone call to your coach instead of the enabling friend. This way you can still be taking action, it can just be a forward moving action instead of the same action that kept you where you no longer wish to be.
- Overcoming Paralysis by Analysis: A clue this is happening in your life is when you won’t listen to other people. We argue and spew the information we have that justifies our inaction. This one can be a challenge to admit to because often times our survival mode shows up in the need to be right. When we are right, we feel justified and hence safe from unpredictable events or people. This is when you get to decide if this is working for you. Another clue is when you can’t seem to find enough information before making the decision you need to make. When you find yourself here, you have an opportunity. You get to decide. You get to put the books away and make a decision. The paralysis won’t go away until you start using your decision- making-muscles. Choose and move! If you, perchance, make a decision you realize wasn’t optimal, who cares? You get to make a different decision! Choose and move! Permission yourself to change your mind and make a different decision. The only one judging you that matters is you. If you find yourself feeling like a deer in the headlights, frozen with fear, and can’t decide which way to go, just breath for one minute. Why do you want what you want? Do you want to stay frozen forever? What are the costs to staying where you’re at? What are the benefits to moving forward? Ok, so now go left or right. Otherwise, in the deers case, you die. So, it’s up to you. If you are still frozen, get a coach. A coach who will be honest, challenge you, be supportive, confidential, and hold you accountable.
Remember, this is your life. You get to live it. You get to decide. Your choices matter. You matter. So, make it the best life and business you want!